Gruler Nation Podcast

Episode #94: Living Mindfully with Jill Petersen

March 13, 2020 Robert F. Gruler Jr., Esq.
Gruler Nation Podcast
Episode #94: Living Mindfully with Jill Petersen
Chapters
Gruler Nation Podcast
Episode #94: Living Mindfully with Jill Petersen
Mar 13, 2020
Robert F. Gruler Jr., Esq.

Episode #94 features Jill Petersen! Jill is an experienced coach and leader. For nearly a decade she was a senior leader and development coach for Lululemon. She is a certified yoga instructor and has received a certificate in Mindfulness Leadership through ASU.  

 

Over her career, Jill has led and developed teams of hundreds of people which led to her most recent venture, the founding of Hermonia. Hermonia was founded to help teenage female athletes discover their worth and live confidently as leaders for the next generation. Jill is passionate about living mindfully because she practices threading it into her everyday life and it really works! Jill believes that helping young girls begin daily practices of mindfulness will radically change their lives and benefit them in their everyday lives with their family and friends, in school, and in their communities!  

 

To learn more about Jill Peterson and Hermonia, follow them on Instgram and Facebook @hermoniaphx or shoot Jill an email at jill@hermonia.com. Jill's website is hermonia.com and is currently under construction but stay tuned because it will be up and running again soon! 

 

#coach #leader #leader #developmentcoach #lululemon #yoga #mindfulness #leadership #hermonia #athletes #confident #confidence #selfconfidence #teens #teengirls #drama #passion #podcast #InspirationwithGrulerNation #inspire #gruler #inspiration #GrulerNation #GrulerNationPodcast #gnp #arizonapodcast #scottsdale #yesphx #phx  

 

The Gruler Nation Podcast is a show that focuses on conversations with interesting "Level 10" people passionate about changing the world with their work, relationships and ideas. The show is hosted by Robert Gruler, an attorney and founding partner of the R&R Law Group, a criminal defense law firm based in Scottsdale, Arizona focused on helping good people charged with crimes move forward with their lives.   

 

Interested in being on the show or have a guest recommendation? Email Robert directly at robert@rrlawaz.com or visit www.robgruler.com for more information.  

 

Support the show (https://www.ericshouse.org/donate/)

Show Notes Transcript

Episode #94 features Jill Petersen! Jill is an experienced coach and leader. For nearly a decade she was a senior leader and development coach for Lululemon. She is a certified yoga instructor and has received a certificate in Mindfulness Leadership through ASU.  

 

Over her career, Jill has led and developed teams of hundreds of people which led to her most recent venture, the founding of Hermonia. Hermonia was founded to help teenage female athletes discover their worth and live confidently as leaders for the next generation. Jill is passionate about living mindfully because she practices threading it into her everyday life and it really works! Jill believes that helping young girls begin daily practices of mindfulness will radically change their lives and benefit them in their everyday lives with their family and friends, in school, and in their communities!  

 

To learn more about Jill Peterson and Hermonia, follow them on Instgram and Facebook @hermoniaphx or shoot Jill an email at jill@hermonia.com. Jill's website is hermonia.com and is currently under construction but stay tuned because it will be up and running again soon! 

 

#coach #leader #leader #developmentcoach #lululemon #yoga #mindfulness #leadership #hermonia #athletes #confident #confidence #selfconfidence #teens #teengirls #drama #passion #podcast #InspirationwithGrulerNation #inspire #gruler #inspiration #GrulerNation #GrulerNationPodcast #gnp #arizonapodcast #scottsdale #yesphx #phx  

 

The Gruler Nation Podcast is a show that focuses on conversations with interesting "Level 10" people passionate about changing the world with their work, relationships and ideas. The show is hosted by Robert Gruler, an attorney and founding partner of the R&R Law Group, a criminal defense law firm based in Scottsdale, Arizona focused on helping good people charged with crimes move forward with their lives.   

 

Interested in being on the show or have a guest recommendation? Email Robert directly at robert@rrlawaz.com or visit www.robgruler.com for more information.  

 

Support the show (https://www.ericshouse.org/donate/)

Speaker 1:

This is episode 94 of the Gruler Nation Podcast. My name is Robert Gruler. We are joined today by Jill Peterson. We're going to talk a lot about coaching and leadership and working with young female AF athletes. We're going to talk about a lot of different things, but let me give you some background on Jill before we dive into it. So she is an experienced coach and leader. She's local here in Arizona

Speaker 2:

as a senior leader and a development coach for Lulu lemon for nearly a decade. She's a certified yoga instructor. She's received her certificate in mindfulness leadership through ASU. She's led and developed teams of hundreds of people which have led her to her most recent venture, which is founding her ammonia. Is that right? Do I pronounce the H ? Her ammonia . Her Harmonia was founded to help teenage female athletes discover their worth and live confidently as leaders for the next generation. Jill Peterson , thanks for coming on the show.

Speaker 3:

Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

Speaker 2:

We're excited to have you cause I actually think what you're doing is super awesome and I don't know a lot of people who are even like thinking about these things. But what I want to talk about, what I want to kind of dive in into first is your background. You know, we were talking a little bit about this before we hopped on here, but I kind of wanted to understand how you got into this space because people, people become leaders through unique ways a lot of the times, right? They have their own life experiences. They want to, they want to help other people, but they want to convey the lessons that they've learned through their lives. They want to translate that and help the next, the kind of the younger generation. So let's just kind of start from the top end. And you're born and raised or are you from Arizona?

Speaker 3:

No, I'm sorry . No, you're fine. But I feel like I, I've spent half of my life here. Okay . So I kind of feel like I am , I'm from Colorado actually. Yeah. And then came out here , uh, went to ASU state . Ever since.

Speaker 2:

And when did you do this mindfulness leadership course?

Speaker 3:

So that was a couple of years ago, I want to say in 20, 20, 18 and 19. Yeah, through ASU. So ASU , uh, just founded a mindfulness , uh , school and it's in the downtown campus. Um, I wanna say it's called the mindfulness, compassion and resilience school. Um, so when I heard that ASU was starting to , uh, kind of born this mindfulness school, it was like raising my hand quickly. How can I help? I want to volunteer , um, because the biggest question that I get is, what's your certification in? Are you certified? And unfortunately there is no, there's no degree in mindfulness. So people are looking for experts in this field. And I want to not because of what other people want from me. I'm a nerd about this stuff. So to help me be better in this field, I to continue to always sharpen my saw. Um, and so when I saw ASU , uh , was starting this school , um, I was all in.

Speaker 2:

What, what led you to sort of that decision or what in your life prompted you to even think about mindfulness? I mean, this is, cause it's kind of one of those weird things. Most people in my, in my perspective or my , my observations, you know, most people are kind of living their lives and their thinking, but they're not aware or cognizant that they're thinking. In other words, we're not being mindful. So how does somebody go from, you know , being a young girl and now making this, her sole practitioner, her , her sole focus for her career? Are you wanting to know the details? I won't give you the details. That's why we're here. Yeah , we're just getting ,

Speaker 3:

okay. So I'm going to take you, I'm going to take you on the Oregon trail. Okay. We're going to go back , uh, eight years ago , um, well even prior to me finding Lulu lemon, I, I practiced, I started practicing yoga at 17 and it was the one outlet that brought my mom and I together. And that was the one coping mechanism for my mom to deal with my mom and dad's divorce. Okay . So the thing that , um, cause and now being married, I, I didn't know it at the time when I was growing up that there was some turmoil in the house. Um, and so I didn't feel it. I felt like my parents did a really good job hiding that from me, but I didn't see my mom a lot or my dad. I feel like in high school I was doing my own thing. They allowed me to be very independent. Um, and so when I wanted time with her, I knew yoga and going to my mat would help me. So that was the, that was the start of , um, the seed planted, went to college at ASU, graduated. I wanted so desperately to be in medical sales. I wanted , I wanted, I loved the hob knob . I'm a people person. I love people. I can talk to a brick wall. My mom always jokes when I was little. She never taught me how to cook because she always wanted me to hang out with grandma or the like crazy aunt that came over or the cousins that we haven't seen in four years. So I was always that person and now I had to relearn how to cook in my thirties, unfortunately. But , um, I've always had this innate skill to , to be with people. So , um , I had this goal of wanting to be in medical sales because I thought it was glamorous. I was going to meet Mick , you know, my McDreamy and um, that could have been far from the truth. So , um, I stumbled into , uh, selling radio ads. Uh, that was my first job out of college. It was awful. I actually got let go , um , after six months with , which is such a blessing. And then I got into wine sales, so wine, I was like, sure, we'll just go from, I , I had no direction, but I was like, sure. Whatever's like, if the spaghetti is going to stick, cool, let's do it. So was in wine for um , a few years actually. And that was where , um, I still was very independent. I had my own territory, am I'm building and selling some things. So it wasn't kind of, it was selling, but not medical devices, but you know, wine. Um , but it was, it was so demanding. It was like really early mornings , uh , working on the weekends and, and I'm a hard worker. I, I'm here for it. I'm like, I'm going to prove to everyone that I can work hard. Um, I can have fun while doing it. And , and hopefully one day they'll see my hard work and promote me for it. So I went after manage management role after management role and I kept getting declined and I was noticing that men were getting it over me. So my outlet then I was like, Oh, I'm so stressed. And I had to go back to that feeling of when I felt connected, when I was a teenager and it was yoga. So I found yoga through , uh , just a a way for me to escape my reality. Um, which then helped me get back up the next morning to do the grind all over again. So in yoga I noticed some girl's pants and um, I, after class I like approached her. I approached her. I was like, hi , I noticed this symbol and on your pants and these are really cute. Where did you get these from? And she's like, Oh, there's this company called Lulu lemon and they're not open a lot. It's kind of a showroom or a pop up concept. And I was like, Lulu, what? So I went home that night from yoga and I studied the company and the company's values and what they stand for with mindfulness and yoga and, and creating this culture that puts people first. I was like, how do I work here? I'm so ready to quit my job tomorrow to pursue something that I have no idea that I have. I have no idea what it's about. And it's selling clothes. So I'm sure my parents will be like, okay, sister, you're going to go and now sell clothes after we just paid four years of you to go to school. Um, so I , um, went into one of the stores that was local here and I just asked a lot of questions. I loved the people. There was loud music. I'm like, this is me. And I just asked, are you guys hiring? They were like, yeah, we're actually hiring for , um, a seasonal position. We're opening a new store at the Scottsdale quarter. I'm like, how do I, how do I apply? I want, I would love to interview. I feel like this would be a really great, you know, kind of side gig in, in lieu of my full time job. So I go to this interview and I was completely blown away. The store manager asked me about my life and my goals and I'm like, no one's ever asked me these questions. And the next day I went in and I quit my job and I haven't looked back ever since. So the last eight years were spent growing up in the company and the company stands for yoga and mindfulness and being good to your community. And I was completely drinking the Koolaid and they gave me an MBA in personal development. Like I feel very equipped developing people because of how they developed me. And they forced me to put myself in uncomfortable situations in, in leadership courses and then having to come back in and apply that into my team and see results. And , um, I , I, I, I am so passionate about Lululemon , even though I don't work for the company anymore, I will be an advocate and an ambassador, a brand ambassador for life because of what it's given me. It has completely, that company completely changed my life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And I've heard that from other guests on the show. I've heard that from a lot of people. You know, it's that that company has sort of exploded, you know, I mean, it's valued at billions of dollars now. And it's interesting that you were there when they were kind of just planting their stakes in the ground.

Speaker 3:

Oh yeah. It was very, I mean, the things, things that we would have done back then would never fly now. Um, because we were taught to be scrappy. We were taught to be entrepreneurial. We're , we were taught that you ask for forgiveness versus permission. And that gave me so much. Um, it , it gave me, I felt like very armed in my tool belt to then , uh, when, you know, when I knew my, my journey at Lululemon was coming to a close, I knew that I was equipped with the right tools to take that leap into what was next because of everything. I literally got to play store and make mistakes and um, you know, invest money in, in different events and learn from them and succeed from them on someone else's dime to then be able to say, okay , I can actually go off and start my own business because of what they, what they've given me, which is really good.

Speaker 2:

That's extremely powerful. I mean, I mean you don't hear that about a lot of companies. You know, you hear kind of the opposite of that. Like Amazon, people are like dropping dead on the warehouse floor, you know, because they , there's like no air conditioning. And then you take a look at the other companies and like, you know, like Lulu lemon and they're just going to the wall to make sure that you have resources. And what is the structure of that look like? I mean, are you, you know, you have a month , quarterly goals, do you have a yearly plan? I mean, you were there for eight years and so, you know, I think maybe if you could kind of describe a little bit more about how that works. There's some valuable lessons there for anybody who's an entrepreneur or running their own business because a lot of people don't want to invest in their staff. They want it, they want to treat them like a $15 an hour employee who comes in, you grind them to death, they're out the door at five o'clock, you burn them out until you, until they're done. And then you get the next one in like an assembly line. Right . And you know, that model works. There's, you know, you've got Walmart and you've got all these big companies that do that, but then you've got some other ones like Lulu lemon . And I can't tell you anybody who's ever been on the podcast and ranted or raved about, you know, Walmart or one of these other companies, but everybody loves what Lulu lemon is doing. So can you just kind of give us more details?

Speaker 3:

Sure. So to answer your question about like quarterly goals or sales targets , um, the company you, so I was a store manager for years and I was also , uh , responsible for, I was a regional manager as well. So I covered a couple of maternity leaves, which by the way, they give their employees six months of paid maternity leave, men and women. Um, so I was able to have both of my kids and feel completely comfortable , uh, leaving work and, and reentering work because they really care genuinely about the whole person. Um, so I was able to then, which that's cool when , uh , people go on maternity leave because then it gives somebody a shot for six months to kind of dabble into a new role to see, to , to really kind of open your lenses or um, yeah, remove the lenses from what you were looking out for so long , uh, to, to have a new scope, which was really cool. Um, so the company, when you are a store manager, you're responsible for a yearly goal and that's broken down into quarters. Um, but there's different pillars of the business. So we have a people pillar, a community pillar, a product pillar , uh, an operations pillar. Um, I'm pretty sure I nailed all of those. Forgive me if my Lulu lemon people are like gel, you're missing the other one. Um , so essentially you write objectives based off of those pillars. So you have to it say for , you know, quarter two , if we're in quarter two , um , you have to be able to have something around people, product, community and operations, like targets so that your , your regional manager then can hold you responsible. Um, you're being really smart with your money. You're , uh , communicating that with your leadership team and your, your general team. So it's really cool that they just don't focus on the number. It's, they're really, they're really, really smart about , um, how do we show up in the community because the community is going to come back in and , and pay for these clothes that, that we're , that we're trying to sell. If we then , uh, focus on that great check. Um, what about people? Okay, do we know what people's dreams and goals are? So we're gonna like, we're really going to invest in developing people through vision and goals and giving them personal development. Um, we're going to give them one on one coaching. And I just heard from a former employee of mine that they're actually offering free therapy for their , uh, for their employees now. So they're really taking ownership of mental health. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, when, when you as a person are whole and complete, that translates into your business, which then equals sales. So when I dialed that in, when I finally let go of my limiting beliefs of like, Oh, I can't manage money, but I know how to talk to people and I know how to be with people. I was a very successful business owner.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Yeah. It's , it is impressive what they've done. And like I said, they kind of just exploded, you know? And now there's a, there's even almost like cults , not the right word, but a very passionate following of people who will go in there. And it's because of that, people know that people appreciate it and they want to reward companies who are doing things right and doing right by their own employees. So you were there for eight years, so you've got, you've got a lot of that. Yeah. That's a lot. And then tell me about the transition. So what, what prompted the , the departure?

Speaker 3:

So one of , uh , Lizza lemon, being a store manager was the best job in the whole wide world because I was responsible, this is going to sound heavy, but , um, I felt so much pride really owning this. I was responsible for my team's happiness. Yeah. So I was very dialed in, very plugged in, tuned in , whatever you want to say around like what their world was like. I had kids who were 18 and in college and stressed out with school and finals. And then I had moms whose kids just went off to college and , and they're empty nesters now. So it was like learning how to be with certain people in, in, in their lives. Um, helped me have different conversations and really helped me be , um, a great listener, be really empathetic. Um, I am , uh , I, I love to challenge people, so it's like giving tough love but also embracing them at the same time. Um, so I learned a lot about people and there came a point when my kids were , um, they were little, but my little, my , my oldest looked at me and it was the day after Christmas and the day after Christmas and retail you guys is, it's like Armageddon . Um, but the day after Christmas, one Christmas, my son looked at me and he goes, mommy, you have to go back to work. Like, I want you to stay home and play with me and my toys. And like that was the moment for me where I was like, what am I doing? I love my job, but also sacrificing my priority and what I stand for. And that's my family. Yeah. So I had this like secret that I was holding her like winter work and I was like, Hey, put your face on. And you know, cause I was the person for everybody else and in that moment I felt like I was kind of shattering inside. Um, and it took a few months, really like six to eight months. Like I sat with that for, for a while of like, well, what, what else would I do? This company is my life, my job is my life. I love it, love it, love it. I can't do anything else. So then I just went back to like, well, what am I really good at? And I'm really good at being with people. I'm really good at getting, getting in front of people and motivating them, inspiring them , um, being funny and like , um, sharing, sharing honestly and openly. That's just who I am. So I was like, okay, how do I actually take what I do in these four walls into the big blue sky? Yeah. So I made some really bold choices. I had very candid and scary conversations with employees and then my boss and we created an exit exit strategy and I had no plan leaving none. I just knew that there was something else on my heart that I wanted to explore and I was ready to not have someone else raise my kids because it was my nanny. So I jumped, I left and it took me six months to really just like get, I just needed space to be creative , um, to like be still and to really like, I truly believe that like all the answers that you need in life are , are inside of you. You just have to quiet the mind. So I had a lot of noise going on. Who are you? Like my , my internal noise was telling me you're not good enough. You don't have the credentials. Who's gonna believe you? Like the, the chatter in my mind was so loud, but I had my tools, I had my yoga, I had my mindfulness, I had all of these things that I was like, how do I do this and give it away. So I first started Harmonia and Harmonia was born out of her because I didn't know who her was. I was like, is it a mom? Is it a woman? Is it a girl? And I didn't want it to be like mom Onya or Colonia because I'm like, I don't know me as a female, I identify as she and her and girl and I don't know, am I talking to my younger self? So maybe when I talk to girls , I don't know. I was like, I want it to be very open, but I knew I wanted it to be female based and I wanted to infuse harmony. So it's her and harmony blended together. And her ammonia was born with the idea of helping people. Um, I wanted to help people. I wanted to give them tools that would help them not be stuck in the past, not get too ahead of themselves. And be in the future. But how do you live in the moment and love who you are in this moment regardless if you are where you say you want to be or not.

Speaker 2:

How how, what was fascinating was that you actually brought this to your boss and your in your company and you actually discussed leaving the company with them and they were communicative with you on that.

Speaker 3:

They were like, and that's the cool thing, Lou , the lemon develops leaders in the world. So they have to, and, and this is what I learned developing people for the last eight years when I was at the company was you have to be committed and not attached because the second you have that attachment, it's, it's hard for you to like fully let them go. You know, it's like you're going to try to convince them and it's not right and, and you'll want to clench your fist like, no , I want to be in control cause you're so good. But then you know, it's like no, their job is not done. Like they need to go and explore a whole new world, whether that be in the company or outside of the company. And that was a hard pill to swallow. Trust me because you're like, wait, but my business is moving and grooving and the second a key player leaves, it's back on you to find someone else that you can say, Hey, I see something in you that you probably don't see in yourself and I'm going to spend the time and I'm going to be holding hands with you and we're going to do this together. It's really hard. So going to my boss and my boss's boss, they were like, no, but yes. Yeah, you're ready and we support you fully. And guess what? Like when I was ready to just try out some workshops that I was creating, I was like, who? Who's going to tell me? Yes, Liz lemon . So I went into Lulu lemon and I was like, Hey, I really want to put on a workshop for moms. All the moms here that work at all of the stores locally. I want to get them together and I want to give them a morning just to just for themselves. They were like, totally, let's do it. I was like, okay. So Harmonia started, I really wanted to work with moms and then it's evolved in, it's evolved and pivoted. Um , now to really focus on girls, specifically female athletes , athletes ages 14 to 18.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. That's very specific to you . As you were speaking, I was thinking of, there was a quote from a , I forget what book it was from, but it said somebody was having a dialogue with somebody else and they were talking about developing their employees. And one of the guys said, well, what happens if we develop our employees? And then they leave it . Isn't that a huge waste? And the other guy says, well, what happens if we don't develop them and they stay? And that's even worse, way worse. And I was like, man, that is really enlightened. That is, Oh my gosh. But what Lou , what Lululemon's doing? You know what I mean? That's, that's awesome. And the fact that even when you're leaving, you're saying, well, I just don't want to, you know, leverage your resources and they're still willing to do that. That's a Testament to the company. But it's a Testament to, I mean to you as well, it's a scary thing to leave a stable, a stable job, something that that's like your baby for the last eight years and for you to say, well, I've got this other thing pulling at my soul and I'm going to go explore that is a scary position to be in. So scary . How was that with your family? I mean, you have kids, you have a husband.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Um, when I first told my husband Matt, he was so incredibly supportive. He was like, you know what? Our life feels good having two incomes and, and yeah, it's, it's scary. I can only imagine as a partner because he's the realist in our, in our marriage. I'm the dreamer. I'm like, everything is sunshine and rainbows and you know, no idea's too big or small, like everything's possible. And he's like, Jill , you like, let's talk about what kind of money we have in our bank account. I'm like, Oh man. Okay. Um, so when I approached him, I was ready for him to be , um, I bet like push, like pushing, pushing back a bit. But he was so open and embraced. The conversation was like, you know what? I believe in you so much that I know that what you're about to leave. Like, like the security that you're about to leave, you will absolutely make it up if not more with this next like adventure. Yeah . Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's great. Well, I'm sure he, you know, obviously he knows you well. He's your husband, you've been there for a while . You've got kids together and so he can, you know, I would imagine, trust your instinct. Recognize when you're not feeling as fulfilled as you might otherwise, you know , be . But there's some risk , but the reward is going to be much bigger if you go and you take that adventure .

Speaker 3:

Emily and I, and I knew, I'm like, I have no idea if this is going to work. I had no idea. But what I kept seeing in, in, in my, in my, in my, in my, in my vision was me reconnecting to my kids. I didn't know what it felt like to take them to school or pick them up. It was like on a one off basis. I had no idea what it felt like to take them to the zoo cause it was very here and there. But I was okay with that . That was my choice. I always, I'm a firm believer in living in choice. You have a choice to be whoever you say you want to be. And I choose every single day to be extraordinary. I want to be an extraordinary mom. I want to an extraordinary wife. I wanted to be an extraordinary leader and sometimes you know, you don't always hit that, that Mark and that's okay. But I was ready to level up my mom, my mom life, like my minivan life to say, you know what? I don't know if Harmonia is going to be the next big thing, but I know that I'm going to be a kick ass mom that I've been dying to be over the last six years.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's great. And you went and did it. You know a lot of people have those thoughts and they just never act on them because it is a risk and they're losing something that they've been married to for a long time. And so you know, hats off to you on the, on the courage to go out there and start something and you're, you're doing it.

Speaker 3:

I'm doing it. And it's baby steps. Oh my gosh. Honestly, like truth be told, I was, I was freaking out coming on here. I was like, what do I have to say? I have completely pulled back a bit in my business because of some things that have been going on in my life and what am I going to talk about? And I'm like, you know what? What would you tell that girl that you would coach if she came to you with the same problem? Yeah. And I would look at her and I would say, you are courageous and you are brave and you have so much to say. You are powerful. You have a voice and go share it. And then I was like okay yeah I'm that girl. Take my own advice. Like it's good advice. I'm glad you're taking it well and it's hard. We all have those moments of like I'm right at your door and I can either bail right now and tell you I'm sick. Yeah cause that was crossing or you go in because it's making you feel uncomfortable. And what's on the other side of that? Like now I'm like yeah, how long do we have? This is great, this is great. And if more people could do that, if more people could just be uncomfortable and sit with the discomfort, you have no idea what's on the other side because most of the time fear or doubt or those limiting beliefs pull you back to you being comfortable again.

Speaker 2:

Right. Do you think that a lot of people though are having those thoughts or, or recognizing that they're having those thoughts and thinking through like what the alternative would be? So you know , you sat there and you said, well, I could've, I could've left. I could've just said, Hey , I'm sick, I'm nervous. I don't want to do this thing and just pull the ejection cord and you're out out the front door. But, but you didn't, you know, you had this internal dialogue and you thought to yourself, well, you know, I've, I've done my homework, I have my tools, my skill set , so I can recognize that this is just fear. This is me coming up against a wall on my comfort zone and I got to push through this thing. But you , you have the tools, you have the awareness, you're cognizant of, of this dialogue that's going on. You have, you can recognize that the racing heart is just anxiety and you're causing it yourself. Right? But other people, I don't know if they're having that internal dialogue . Do you think that they are? Is this something that you're experiencing when you're working with, with people or young girls even?

Speaker 3:

I think that's a really good question and why I'm sitting in this chair today is because we need to be able to feel all of those feelings because we do like what is human nature is to feel comfortable. No body likes to be uncomfortable, but when you do have the tools and when you do have the awareness, your life drastically gets better and I preach, I'm a confidence coach for girls. So co like when you, when you look at the word confidence and you break that down, all confidence is is self trust. You have to trust yourself. So I had to like remind myself to in that moment of just trusting yourself, like what? What you're going to say is going to be the right thing versus me being like, well what is, what is if Sally's listening to this, what does Sally thing, it's like this is not about Sally. It's trusting your gut and your self and your intuition and that's what I want more people to do. Be like a lot of people. We live in a an a society that has so many things at our fingertips. We have books, we have podcasts, we have things to help us be better and people forget to put themselves on the priority list. So I want to be a reminder to the girls that I coach and also their parents. And even if you're not a parent, that oftentimes when I ask people to list their priorities, they are never on their list ever. So the more that you can just listen in the car on the go or maybe as opposed to you scrolling, you read a book, it's just taking little baby steps and eventually that is going to like build armor. And that helps you with that, that that self-trust to be more confident in whatever situation that you might be facing that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that's great advice. And I noticed that a lot with a lot of, a lot of my friends in my life, you know, people don't want to take a lot of responsibility for their own lives or for improving their lives or for developing these skill sets . You know, I have a friend who is constantly calling or texting me and he's always gotten all these problems and I'm like, what have you done to try to fix those? Have you, had you hired a coach? Have you read a book? Have you listened to an audible, you know, what are you doing? But he , he's not doing it because he's sort of spiraling in his own mind. He's wrapped around the axle in his brain and he's just allowing these thoughts to just continue to, you know , bash around up in there rather than doing some mindfulness rather, you know , taking some action in order to actually improve his lives and solve the problems once and for all. So how did you, you know, and when you're dealing with teenagers, this is a perfect time to convey some of these concepts to them. Cause they're , they're young and their minds are open to some of these things. When you hit 35, 40, you're pretty set in your ways unless you really make a cognizant effort to change it. You know, these young girls, these young people, they're ripe, they're primed for sponges for exactly. And, and to have somebody like you spend time with them, I'm sure it's extremely rewarding. How did you sort of narrow your focus into that space? Because it's very specific. Yeah , it's very ,

Speaker 3:

so like I said, I wanted to start with moms because I felt like as a mom who was working, I could relate to the moms who were working moms. And I also stayed home for six months. So I got like a dose of what stay at home mom life looked like as well. Um, so I wanted, and they're so different, but very similar. Both worlds stay at home and working moms. So I wanted to provide tools because mom guilt is real. Mom, like shaming yourself and feeling bad because you feel like you're messing your kids up. And , um, I wanted to provide tools to say, no, you're not, like, that is completely made up. And we have to look at facts versus drama. It's like what are the actual facts and is it a story that you're telling yourself that you're believing that to be truth versus the things that, that you need to be focusing on. So I set out to , uh, I wanted to empower moms to , to let them know like, Hey, here's going to be some tools. We're going to breathe, we're going to do some yoga. I'm going to , uh , we're going to talk about gratitude. We're going to talk about our morning routine and how you set up your evening for the next morning. Tips and tricks to help them be better. And the moms loved it. I got great feedback. And then they were like, have you ever thought about doing like going into like a dance studio and doing this for young girls? It was like, hell no, absolutely not. No, I want to work with women. I want to work with moms. And it kept coming up. So finally I was like, I need to, I need to embrace this. I need to quit turning a blind eye. I need to embrace it. So finally I agreed to it. I was like, sure. Um , and I always knew that I have , I have girl power in my blood love girl power. Um, and it's funny. So when I went in , um, I led , I actually did lead , um, a group of dancers, but I would say like my first official , uh, session with female athletes, it was with female athletes down at Xavier and it was with the, the RO the crew team. So I went and these girls were dialed. I had their attention, their focus. They were hanging on to every word that I said. And it woke me up. I was like, Whoa, this is weird. Cause I was waiting for like the giggling and the gossiping in the end, don't get me wrong, that happened . Sure. But what I, what I saw that day completely changed my path entirely for how I run this business now. And it was like, Oh my gosh, these girls don't have anything in their world like this. And their parents are looking for someone like me because who wants to listen to their parents when they're 14, 15. It's like, I sure did it , but who I looked to were my teachers, my coaches, the people that might, the other kind of adult , um, parent figure in my life. And I was like, how do I be that then? Because I walked away on fire that day. Yeah , fire. These girls were so lit up. I gave them homework, we did yoga. I was like, this might work, this might work. So I went back to Xavier and I pitched another team and they were like, absolutely. So then I started to build this curriculum that I was like, Oh my gosh, I really like this. And the girls. Um, and , and, and I've also worked with non-athletes. So I wanted to kind of figure out why athletes and why I chose why I chose athletes over girls who don't do sports is because I , I know their work ethic. I know being a female athlete myself, I have this, I can relate to them in a different way. And I also want to build a curriculum that is so top notch. It is, it's changing lives. Parents are seeing it, girls are seeing it. And then I want to be able to open it up because I'm like, it just, it felt too much for me. It felt like girls, I can't change every girl. And if I were to say that I could, I , I , I, I, I don't, being a mom and what I prioritize now, I , I just felt like a lot, so I needed to narrow it down to say, these are the girls I'm working with, with hope that I dial it in so well that then I can say now I'm accepting. Um , just girls, like I'm not going to just say female athletes. I will have programs for anyone and everyone.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think what you're doing is brilliant. Actually, I have a good friend, he's in a men's group. You said girl power. I got a , I got a boys group that we meet with once a week and , uh , he's, he's an older gentleman. He's in his 50s. Uh , he actually listens to the show. What's up Tom? He, he , uh, he, he, he kind of does the same thing. He's very involved in , uh, volleyball for teenage girls and he's , he's an excellent volleyball player. This guy is amazing. He wins tournaments. He does all this stuff. He's in his fifties, but he's, you know what, my ass all up and down the volleyball court. But he's very, very good. But I think one of the key things that he brings when he's doing these coaching, coaching , you know , these, a lot of these girls, like you said, they're dialed in. They already know the skills, you know, they can already kick the ball, throw the ball, hit the ball. They can already do all.

Speaker 3:

Yup. Yup . I am, I'm not going to teach you how to be a better blank. Right. You got it. You got it. Your body's good. And you have a coach for that. You have a coach. They're very good at them. They're excellent. At that,

Speaker 2:

but the other stuff, the stuff that's happening in here and your mind is often overlooked.

Speaker 3:

Exactly. And coaches only have two eyes and yes, they have their assistant coaches, but I have a different skill set . So when I can come in and really observe a team, I look at dynamic, I look at how the coaches are communicating with the players and how the players are supporting it. It brings me back to Lulu lemon. You know, I have this eye , it's like an Eagle view. I have that Eagle view. I'm like looking down on the mouse, you know, the Eagle mouse view. Um, so it's really cool to then come in and , and let her know what I am seeing the coach, him or her, let, let them know what I'm seeing and really co-create , um, sessions together because I want, I want this athlete to be unbelievable in her sport, but most importantly I want those skills to transfer when that Jersey is hung up or being washed in the laundry. Right. Because a lot of girls that I hear , they are, they have no idea who they are outside of their sport that they identify with. And I'm like, sister, we need to fix that because when you go to college in two years and we ask you at 18 what degree you want or what, what you're interested in, if you don't even know because you , you haven't explored that side of , of you. That's where we need to start.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And when you're, when you're working with these girls, are, are you finding sort of , um, you know, trends with them? Like , like do they want, what do they want out of it? You know, are they just sort of like, you know, sponges like you said, and they're just open to receiving any information from anybody? Are they going into working with you thinking that, you know, this can really help get my head right because I've got confidence issues when I go up to spike the ball or something like that. You know, they need help calming that down. They want to perform better. Are they doing it because her friends are doing it? What's kind of, what's kind of been the feedback?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Um, I've definitely seen trends, fear, self doubt , limiting beliefs. Um, has been the three constants that I, that I see and they want tools. So when their coach tells them you're mentally weak, you're mentally weak, like suck it up, let's go. They're like, how? Yeah , what does that mean? And so when, when their coach tells them that they then are internalizing, I'm not good enough but I don't know how to fix it. And that's what's showing up on the court, that's what's showing up as them being the best version of themselves, being the best teammate. So I come in then and give them tools. Um , and it's silly stuff. It is not rocket science, positive self talk. When do you do it? How do you do it? Uh, gratitude , uh, visualizations, meditations, being mindful. Like, I love teaching mindfulness to these girls because they have no idea how to be in the moment, but like when they're having the game of their life, they're in the moment, but the second that something is off, that's when I know they're in the past or in the future. They don't know how to bring it back quickly. And that's what we work on is that that alignment piece is like letting that go and then coming back, maybe it's a couple of breathing exercises and boom, you're, you're , you know, you're back, right?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And it , and it's extremely powerful in sports. When I was thinking back to my days, I actually went to Brophy. So I, which is the sister, which is , which is the boys school.

Speaker 3:

I hear all the stories about Brophy boys, they're all trouble.

Speaker 2:

So , uh, anyways, I was, I was , I wrestled there and there was a guy who was two years, so I was a freshman, he was a junior and he was an outstanding athlete. Uh , very good. You know, we've ripped, shredded, knew all the technique was, you know , the best kid in, in our practice. But when it became match time, when he had to step on the match and compete, he fell apart almost every time. And he would lose matches in the last 30 seconds, sometimes the last minute because he mentally was not strong enough to deal with it. He was way stronger, way better technically proficient than any other competitor out there. But he was wrong in the mind. And we, you know, our , our coach at that time, which we wouldn't helpful if you had been around back then, but you know, w was giving him books and trying to fix that, but just didn't have the right skillset for it. Yeah. And you know, thankfully you're doing it , um, where, where do you kind of see this developing? Because you know, you , you've said that girls w remind me the age range. 1414 to 18 1418

Speaker 3:

yeah. And I, I've coached girls from 12, 12 years old to , okay . That's like the youngest I've done. And of course my nieces , they're like my throws , my beta test. They're seven and nine. If it doesn't work out , I have more, more parents who I'm like, I just can't help you right now. Like I can't help right now because your , your daughter is not quite there. And at that kills me. It kills me to say no to parents because I want, I want to be that person that someone was for me when I was younger. Right. Um, but I have tools,

Speaker 2:

but you see, I mean, you kind of see a beginning and an end. I mean, you start working with them when they're 14 and 18, you know, you say, we've got your skillsets , I've worked with you long enough, you've got to transition into something else.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And I keep an eye. So I do team coaching and I also do individual coaching. Um, I created an online program where I can coach anyone I was in say in the U S but really worldwide global and it's all via zoom. Thank you. Yeah . Um, so when I try to figure out like, okay, I can do team coaching because if I do team coaching in-person, I'm limited to just Arizona. I have flown out to Colorado a few times. I have a , uh , a team out there, which is awesome. But again, time, like I want to be able to give myself to more people. So coaching one-on-one or creating programs that are either self-guided , that's where I see this going. Um, but I also tell every girl that I coach at the end of our session or the team session, it's like personal development doesn't end here. Yeah . Self-growth doesn't end here it is. It's a lifetime of you doing it. So yes, you might have me for only a few years or maybe only one time, but I hope that I planted a seed for her to continue to see that she's worth it. That she's at the top of her priority list and that she needs to bring in other people to help get her to where she needs to go.

Speaker 2:

[inaudible] how about the interaction with parents? So how do they respond to this? Because parents, you know, like you said, you get kind of touched on it about it . I think you call it mom guilt or mom shame, you know, this idea that you could be, you know, screwing your kids up. But on the flip side of that, you've got parents who think that everything they're doing is 100% right. And their kids are perfect and they're flawless and they don't need your help. Their mindset is perfect. So what are you doing here? Why would you even talk to me? You know, my kid's fine. Um , have you , have you experienced much of that much of that? Or is it, is it kind of, you know, a warm reception?

Speaker 3:

You know, I haven't faced tough parents yet. I have a feeling I'll , I'll get a good one where I'll learn and I'll come back and tell you. Um, parents have been very, very open to this idea. I think the struggle that they have is how do I, how do I enroll my daughter in this so that it doesn't feel like that she's doing anything wrong or she's broken. Um, and how I tell them to help me get her excited is that this is a reward. Like you have been so awesome at your sport and now we're going to take you to the next level. Um , and it's that 80, 20 principle. I fully believe that 80% of performance is in the mind and 20% is, is the physical, like the , the actionable piece. So it's, it's also sharing that with parents like, Hey, if you wanna , if you wanna , you know, kind of hook your daughter, talk about, talk about her , um, her, her next goal. Like what is that and how do we get her there? And that's where I come in and support.

Speaker 2:

So the conversation with from the parent to the child is, are you communicating with the parent and giving them some guidance on what that enrolling conversation looks like.

Speaker 3:

And then I always open it up because of course, you know, I'm asking these girls to meet me and they're like, who is this girl? So I always either jump on the phone or have some type of face to face , uh , with her so that she feels like, Oh, she's not a scary monster. Right . And I will ask her what her favorite movies are. And , um, you know, what do you, what do you like to do after school or tell me something about you, where I can just completely remove the hat of coach and, and connect and see this girl as, as a human being. Um, so that, and that for me builds trust and that allows me in, once she sees that, Oh, okay, she actually really cares what I have to say and she remembers things, I want to talk to her. She's okay.

Speaker 2:

And then you find that once that kind of, that bridge has been crossed that they will start to open up because now you've got to start talking about issues with, if I remember correctly, very sensitive teenage girls, very sensitive and you know, now you start talking about things like self confidence and performance and you know, maybe even some other topics that they don't want to address with their parents. Maybe you're the safe space for that about boys and sex and all sorts of different things. All the girl drama, the clicky stuff. And so they, you know, that that's something that develops over a certain period of time.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And I have a curriculum that I follow that kind of like eases into like the first couple of weeks are really easy. And then it's like we get into it and I also connect with the parents. I have to connect with the parents to say, of course, if anything is alarming, I will let you know. And I'm not, I'm not your kid's parent. I'm not going to parent her. Right . That's your job. So the parents and I have to be in unison so that we can see success in , in their daughter. Um, so I will jump on the phone with them. I meet with them twice a month , um, and I say, okay, what are you seeing at home? Because some girls might be sitting on the other line or on the other end trying to please me. So maybe what I'm seeing might not what might be different. So that's really cool to bring that together and then it will spark some to bring to a new call and homework that I give her or exercises that we do together. So it's a really cool , um , it's a really cool model.

Speaker 2:

What about, and this is kind of a weird way to ask the question, but I thought of like return on investment. So what are you seeing perform that's , that's what I thought. But like what is that right? Are they performing better? Are their grades better? Are they hitting the ball harder? You know, what, what are parents expecting? What are you delivering? What kind of results have you seen?

Speaker 3:

Great question. This was really hard for me coming from Lulu lemon that I had numbers as my baseline. I knew year over year where my numbers were. If I was growing, if I wasn't where, where I constantly was. But in coaching in this, in this field, it's so unknown. And then sometimes I get stuck in my head like, is this really getting through to her? Am I making a difference? Am I impacting her? Like, is anybody listening, I E 100% because I, I to get validation from , um, from, from seeing, from, from seeing it happened quickly to, from seeing results happen quickly. And this is a process and that's hard, right ? And for me, I've had to learn, like I know I pour myself into these girls. I give these girls more than a hundred percent. And that's what I have hitting my head at the pillow every single night is if I don't see immediate results, I know I've done my best and it's up to her. Right . I have no control over this other person. My hope is that she's listening and luckily I have seen crazy results from the people that I've worked with. I mean people getting better grades, people being better friends. Um , like when I get text messages from my girls and they send me pictures of them hitting a home run or they made the varsity team that was a goal of theirs and we worked through that. Um, or that they're not friends with a group of girls because , uh, their worth is more than the people that they were surrounding themselves with. Those are the conversations that I don't have. I, it's like I can't bottle that up. I don't have it in a number. Yeah . But I haven't in my heart. And I also really, really try to capture it in a survey. I'm like, okay, how do I measure this so that when people do ask me these questions, it's like, Hey, on a scale of one to 10 when you first started with me , um, how did you feel? Blank in confidence, whatever it may be. And then at the end of our session together, where do you feel? And it's like it is, it completely shifts from a very low number to a very high number. And it's like, okay, that's what I needed. And that's the cool part that I share with the parents. Yeah . And it's so cool.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's very cool. I think, I mean to me it's a no brainer because I do a lot of this stuff. I have two coaches, I got a business coach, I've got a personal coach, you know, one of them. And Donny , what's up Donnie ? And, and you know, it's, it's sort of ingrained into my lifestyle now. I'm always going to retreats. I'm always going to workshops. I've got, you know, I've got them scheduled out for the year already. Literally I go to about one one once a month. But, but I wasn't born that way. Nope . And I had to learn that and I started that maybe when I was 30 and it's been tremendously beneficial for my life. Is that the phrase, you know , uh , personal development proceeds, professional develop development and the fact that you're getting in with these girls so early is so awesome. Even if I'm only planting a seed, it's amazing. And , but, but yeah, parents are gonna want to know, well what's this gonna do for my kid? You know, it's, I'm sure, I'm sure it's not inexpensive but it's worth every penny of it. But it is something that, you know , you have to have that conversation with and it's hard to quantify how much they've, they've truth , you know , improved. Yeah . Well, you know, I guess we could keep talking for hours. You know, I've , I've got, I've got a lot of questions about about how all this works cause it's, you know, I was, I was just thinking my , like my mind, you know, your mind kind of just bounces around. I was like Ryan, my business partner has a daughter who's like one. So I was like trying to do the math. I'm like, Oh you'd to be around 13 years, 1424 10 like would be great for her. So get her enrolled in the program, do a pre sign up or something. But because it is so important and I tried to convey to a lot of people just how critical it is to work on yourself. It compounds.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And, and your life is worth it. Like you're , it's never done. The work is never done and you have to have to have to value yourself first. And a lot of people just don't. So it's a, it's a beautiful message to encourage any teenagers listening to this that they're worth it. Like invest in yourself. I'm a huge believer in hiring coaches. You cannot, you are masterful at what you're masterful at . You are an expert in your certain areas of mastery. Same for me and I can't be awesome at everything, even though I thought I was for a long time and I was like, Oh sister, do you need to hire someone for that? You gotta get help for that. And it's like it, it lightens the load. And that is such, it's a , I , I love that you shared that you do that as well because I do and more people need to do that. They need to be okay with not needing to carry the world on their shoulders. Cause I'm sure it's really heavy underneath all of that.

Speaker 2:

It is and it's confusing. And why would you try to recreate the wheel when somebody has already got a solution for you? They can show you the skills.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And, and especially if parents are listening to this , um, if , if nothing I really wanted to convey, I mean, I hear, I get to hear some really awesome and crazy and wild conversations from these teenagers. They keep me young, that's for sure. Um, but what I know is that they value and love their parents so much and they see them, they are looking always at what they're doing. And so you have to check in as a parent, you have to check in and , and ask yourself like, what am I doing for me so that I can show up better for them. Right . And a lot of times the people that I have to turn away is because, you know, I'm kind of fielding the parents as well if, if I don't see that they're also in line with what I'm, what I'm trying to portray. Right . Um , it's a no for me. You know, it's, you have to do the work yourself as well and be that committed like I would be. Yeah. Um, so yeah, like invest in yourself, work on yourself. Your daughters are watching you. You are the , you're, you're, you're their hero.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. It's not, it makes sense that it would not be a good fit for a parent to just say that they're going to delegate all of this stuff to somebody else and not be involved in it. You know, they're , like you said, the daughters are watching the parents and, and they need to be performing at their own level and doing stuff to improve themselves so that their daughters can model that. And then, you know , you're just, you're their coach in that improvement process. Yeah. Yeah. It's very cool stuff. I want to make sure that we connect people with you. So where, where are some places that they can find you, follow you, email you, all of that,

Speaker 3:

the social, the , the download, the deeds. Okay. So my website is harmonia.com H E R M. O. N. I a. It's currently under construction because I, the language that I had on it was very broad. And so , um, you know, when people were finding me, they were like, wait, it doesn't have anything about female athletes. I gotta change that. Um, however, there's a landing page on there and you, it just, it sends an email straight to me. You can find me on social. So Facebook and Instagram is Harmonia P H X, like Phoenix. Um, and that's where they can find me. Slide into my DMS . Send me an email. I would love to work with your daughters , so hit a sister up,

Speaker 2:

Jill Peterson from harmonia.com let me one more time. So Harmonia PHX is the Instagram and Facebook. You've got harmonia.com which I think you have a newsletter or something. You can sign up for an emails form or something. Yeah. You know , forums or just send you an email, right, jill@harmonia.com that's awesome. Jill, very much appreciate you coming on the show. Looking forward to following you along and keep inspiring those young girls out there. Appreciate it . Thanks. Thanks, Jill .

Speaker 3:

Ruler nation podcast

Speaker 1:

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